Speech _ Belief
131057
Raymond Keonho Park
Everyone experiences slumps, when nothing
comes to any good. For me, who is not that good at
adapting to new environments, KMLA was literally hard. I mean, this place was
so unadaptable in every way. It took more than a month to acknowledge to myself
that I am in Gang-won do and I am a student of KMLA. The most painful thing
that disturbed my adaptation was loneliness. I was so lonely. I could not trust
anyone in this place. I missed my family, friends and especially Seoul, where I
can get anything I want with ease.
I believe the majority of 18th wavers had
a hard time at KMLA during February or are still struggling with themselves.
They might have problems with friendships, relationships with the juniors and
seniors and so on. Then, what was my problem? I was scared. Scared of making
relationships by necessity. I had visited KMLA last year in order to
participate in the Korean Debate Contest, what we call 우토
in short. Living at KMLA and experiencing life like a KMLA
student, it was a great opportunity for me to assure my volition to go KMLA. At
the same time, I experienced one fearful thing for the first time. Many students were forming relationships by necessity, an award. It is quiet
natural to feel awkward with people one’s just met. However, students, even
myself, treated others as if we knew each other for a long time because we had to
form teamwork, discuss and win in the debate. So that we could draw near our
dream of being a KMLA student. I am sure that relationships by necessity can neither be thoughtful nor deep. It must be a superficial friendship. Unfortunately, it
happened again this year, and I could not feel sincerity. I was lonely because
I felt no body as a real friend. Every person around me was just a stranger.
A slump had come to me, and my life in KMLA
was continuous days of unhappiness. At that moment, I got one message and soon
noticed that it was just my illusion. In fact, there was one person I believed
but forgot while struggling with myself. The environment of KMLA that restricts
connection between boys and girls also played a role. She and I had known each
other for three years, but only got along with each other since last year. We
had many things in common that made us to talk a lot. Thus, there was an
incident that made us to become much more intimate. A newcomer came to
our 학원. But that girl was
quite odd and very good at annoying others. To me, she was the one who
dispersed my secret to teachers. I was so mad at her, but just ended it with
saying that I am so disappointed because I did not have courage to say any more
bad words. All of the boys did not like her, and some of us behaved severely.
Finally, that girl told teachers that boys were bullying her, and she marked
three primary people. Unfortunately, I was included. Knowing that the words of
the victim are superior in that situation, I was so gloomy and embarrassed.
Since I was never implicated in such a situation before, I did not know
anything to do but just kept being concerned about everything.
‘What if other people think ill of me? What
if they think I am a real bad person?’
The biggest thing that I worried about was others’ opinion
of me. Thus, those students were people who I may see 3 years more in high
school. While I was wandering in the darkness of my life, she, my friend, told me
something.
“I believe you. And I know you. 박건호 who I know must not be a person who would do such things. Even
if you did bad things to her, I still believe you and you are my friend just
the same.”
They were the most encouraging words in my life. The result
of the girl’s accusation was physical punishment for me and my friends. However,
I was not worried anymore, because I had the conviction that someone still
believed me. Above all things, I was so glad that I had someone who I could
call a “best friend.”
She was the one
who rescued me again this time. Sending a message that I do not look good these
days, she asked if something happened to me. I spoke out my mind and emotions,
about how I feel about the new place. Actually, she did not tell me anything
special this time. Just common encouraging words. However, the facts themselves
that I have someone to tell my feelings to and that person is always waiting
for me, made me comfortable. Only then did I come to feel at ease.
Troubles come to every person through
various ways, even though you do not welcome them. Those devils make people
wander and struggle a lot, and even commit suicide in bad cases. Surprisingly, the
weapons to fight against the troubles are simple. It’s belief. A conviction
that I am not alone in this world. A conviction that someone would be with me to
the end. It makes a person to receive courage and get out of trouble, as I did.
Consequently, what you have to do is to give a helping hand to your friends. Try
to make REAL friends who you can be devoted to as much as yourself. What you should
do for your friends is not something grand. Only few words of “I believe you”
with a sincere heart will make anyone endure a slump.
